is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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