So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
