Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
