What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
