Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
