Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
