if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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