mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
