Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
