Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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