Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
