Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
me + whiskey = a bad person
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize