Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
