HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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