Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
