wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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