when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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