All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
