just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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