Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
