And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
