I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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