Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
