either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize