in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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