butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
babies were throwing up all over the place
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
