Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
