There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
