I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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