I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
