So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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