It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
