It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
