so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
