so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
