the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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