he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
