YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
