just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
