I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I want you more than these girls want KFC
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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