Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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