it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
