It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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