Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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