obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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