He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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