I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
