I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
