I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
