i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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