Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the day after is always just damage control
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
