Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
