Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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