her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
