Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
