love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
