But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
