She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
