Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Randomize
