No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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