This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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