were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize