I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
