i was born a porn star she said
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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