Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
