Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
