Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
