I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
