I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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