I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
